帮忙修改英文个人陈述~

I am the applicant xx.I desire to major in architecture at xx.From September 2008 to July 2011,I studied at xx.After the college entrance examination,I considered a lot about my dream and future.
I love the architecture deeply on account of it blending painting and math together,both of which I enjoy so much.I have visited the World Expo (Shanghai) for three times and I was attracted by the each building that has a distinguishing feature.I think they are the lost part of the buildings in China.As far as I am concerned,the spirits in the architectures can reflect a time’s culture.Alvar Aalto is my adoring architect.The details such as eliminating the noise from the faucet,painting the ground with warm color show the core of architecture—people.I want to be a architect like him and I am dying to be a architect who can bring happiness to the others.
The open atmosphere,advanced equipments as well as knowledgeable professors at xx attract me greatly.I'm looking forwarfd to being a student of your school so much!