请给我的托福作文评评分吧(要公正)

问题描述:

请给我的托福作文评评分吧(要公正)
Question:agree or disagree that people do challenging work happier than easy job?
Essay:With the development of the world,more and more optional jobs have emerged into our sight.Some people firmly believed that an easy job can lead them to a more stable living condition with an adequate income.Neverthless,to work as an innovator which is
fulfilled with challenge may tremendously offer us enjoyment.This essay will examine whether working as an active role will contribute more to our happiness than an easy job.
Challenger can often absorb more wisdom and knowledge as an rewarding of their great pressure under the job-experience .But these people are more likely to gain the satisfaction and happiness from their struggling.In contrast,easy jobs can bring a person relaxing but not a meaningful day.
Statistics show that most celebrities’works accompany with challenges .They can enhance rapidly through the mental wishes and upset challenges.Meanwhile,a comfort air with no awkward issues to cope with and much commitment to afford can cause to be obscured with their primary targets.The value of life can be dramatically revealed by approaching to your own ambition day by day and eventually attaining it.Apparently,happiness is firmly related to a valuable life which has been totally lacked by the easy job.
According to the above-mentioned .It is clear that the happiness a challenging life can bring us is beyond measure.
1个回答 分类:综合 2014-10-25

问题解答:

我来补答
1.字数不太够吧?
2.首段末尾最好能够明确提出你的观点,不要让ETS看完了还不知道你支持什么反对什么.
3.在我看来,第二段和第三段想表达的意义是一样的.而且两段都没有什么specific的内容.不要光顾着讲道理,举些具体的例子嘛~
4.语言什么的倒是没有什么太大问题.
建议:打回重写
 
 
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