问题描述：
求批改雅思作文!剑八上的.写得不好,求达人批改谢谢
With the world economic fast developing,the average weight of people is increasing while their levels of health are decreasing.There are some main reasons below.
\x05Life conditions are dramatically improved,especially on aspect of eating.During the war period,which was full of pains,people deeply suffered from hunger.Actually people can afford eating meats,fish,and other expensive food,even shark’s fin and sea-ear.They always eat so much that both weight and health problems are increasing.In fact,the energy they get every day is much more than what they need.As a result,the better their life becomes,the fatter they are.
\x05Moreover,people do not like moving about,even only going for a walk after dinner.Nowadays people often sit in the office all the day with no movement at all.Under the strong pressure,they have no time to have a rest for a while,with ceaseless tasks.In the evening,after having the dinner with family,people always go directly to the front of the computer,or lie in sofa to watch TV.They never do sports,or any other out-doors activities.
\x05They should take measures for change.The most effective way,I think,is to control their eating.People are supposed to eat less meat and various vegetables.Besides,they should do sports every week in spite of ceaseless work.It is proposed that they can join the sports club and find a private coach,who will design a proper plan for them in order to decrease the weight.However,it is the most important to insist to dong sports as often as possible.
\x05Fatness and semi-health are serious problems all over the world,which draw attentions of more and more wise people.I hope that they can lose weight and live a really healthy life.
With the world economic fast developing,the average weight of people is increasing while their levels of health are decreasing.There are some main reasons below.
\x05Life conditions are dramatically improved,especially on aspect of eating.During the war period,which was full of pains,people deeply suffered from hunger.Actually people can afford eating meats,fish,and other expensive food,even shark’s fin and sea-ear.They always eat so much that both weight and health problems are increasing.In fact,the energy they get every day is much more than what they need.As a result,the better their life becomes,the fatter they are.
\x05Moreover,people do not like moving about,even only going for a walk after dinner.Nowadays people often sit in the office all the day with no movement at all.Under the strong pressure,they have no time to have a rest for a while,with ceaseless tasks.In the evening,after having the dinner with family,people always go directly to the front of the computer,or lie in sofa to watch TV.They never do sports,or any other out-doors activities.
\x05They should take measures for change.The most effective way,I think,is to control their eating.People are supposed to eat less meat and various vegetables.Besides,they should do sports every week in spite of ceaseless work.It is proposed that they can join the sports club and find a private coach,who will design a proper plan for them in order to decrease the weight.However,it is the most important to insist to dong sports as often as possible.
\x05Fatness and semi-health are serious problems all over the world,which draw attentions of more and more wise people.I hope that they can lose weight and live a really healthy life.
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