谁能帮我改改这段作文!谢谢!

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谁能帮我改改这段作文!谢谢!
Take the environmental pollution for example. It is no doubt that almost all countries in the world all agree on reducing the environmental pollution on our mother world. However, with development of industry, huge amounts of pollutants are being produced to destruct our environment. It is hardly possible that we can solve them within a short period of time. Furthermore, if we stop the expansion of industry, it will obstruct our development of economy.
1个回答 分类:英语 2014-11-26

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for example 太平常,改用for instance.把no 变成beyong 岂不更好?把第二个all 删掉多余呀.如果是强调防污的广泛性和重要性的话,你不要用all countries 而直接用the world 表示世界各个角落都在防污.我们的最终目的是 将污染降低到最小,所以用reduce力度不够,再在后面加个定语从句,我改成这样,仅供参考:Take environmental pollution for instance,it is beyond doube that the world is fighting against pollution which should be elimilated.thanks!
 
 
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