英语作文求批改~Generally,a multitude of people thought that to find

Generally,majority of people thought that it was better to find a tutor rather than ask their friends for help.However,that could lead them to some disadvantages.
(改为majority of people更适合大多数.
to find a tutor,前面加it was better...rather than.
ask sb.for help.）
If you find a tutor to help you pass an examination,It will be possible to cost a lot.Learning with friends can not only cost us nothing,but also improve our friendship during the learning process.
(if.it will.句型.
be possible to do.
not only...but also...不但.而且.句型）
First ,If you ask you friends for help ,sometime you can save a great deal of money and you can use the money to do whatever you prefer when you pass the examination.
(can 后面直接加动词原形.
you can use the money to do whatever you prefer.在英语上这更容易理解,不然为什么省了钱,考试后就可以做自己想做的了.）
For instance,two years ago,my little sister had an exam about painting,and actually My major was art.Since I was capable of painting picture all the time,and everyone knew arts tutor was really expensive,my destiny was coming.Finally,my little sister not only saved a lot of money but also passed the exam with high scores.This is my story of killing two birds with one stone.
(没有after two years ago的,因为没有说”在两年前之后“
要不after two years,要不two years ago.
记住全篇要保持过去式一致.
还有,of doing something...）
Second,it's convenient to ask your friends for help.Sometimes your tutor may be busy doing other things,so if you have any question you can just go straight to ask your friend to help you solve the problem.
In conclusion,My advice is that if you need help with studying for an exam,It's better to find a friend who has good understanding about the specific subject rather than finding a tutor to help you.
( be convenient to do something...句型.
sometimes,always,一句中不可以重复用多个这种表时间的词.
我把你把一些比较复杂的改成容易理解的了.