问题描述：
麻烦谁能帮我看一下这篇雅思小作文?
这是我自己在家里写的一篇雅思小作文——剑5 TEST 2,WRITING TASK 1.
第一次写这篇时完全逻辑不清,后来稍微看了范文才恍然过来,就修改了一下.
The bar charts beyond describe the main causes for study among students of various age groups and the amount of support they gained from employers.
As we can see from the first gragh,the number of students under 26yr studing for career stands at 80%,which is the highest point of all.And this percentage gradually decreases by 10-20% every decade.Only 18% people aged over 49yr study for career reasons as the least share.By contrast,the number of students under 26yr study for interest occupies 10%.The percentage does not increase fast until the fourth decade,and grows dramatically in late adulthood.The numbers of students aged 40-49 studing for interest and career are nearly the same.
In the second survey,employer support is maximum which is approximately 60% for the under 26yr students.And then,it drops drastically to 30 in the ages from 30 to 39.However,it increases in late adulthood to about 42% during the fourth decade of life.It seems that the employer support is based on those students who mainly study for career.
这是我自己在家里写的一篇雅思小作文——剑5 TEST 2,WRITING TASK 1.
第一次写这篇时完全逻辑不清,后来稍微看了范文才恍然过来,就修改了一下.
The bar charts beyond describe the main causes for study among students of various age groups and the amount of support they gained from employers.
As we can see from the first gragh,the number of students under 26yr studing for career stands at 80%,which is the highest point of all.And this percentage gradually decreases by 10-20% every decade.Only 18% people aged over 49yr study for career reasons as the least share.By contrast,the number of students under 26yr study for interest occupies 10%.The percentage does not increase fast until the fourth decade,and grows dramatically in late adulthood.The numbers of students aged 40-49 studing for interest and career are nearly the same.
In the second survey,employer support is maximum which is approximately 60% for the under 26yr students.And then,it drops drastically to 30 in the ages from 30 to 39.However,it increases in late adulthood to about 42% during the fourth decade of life.It seems that the employer support is based on those students who mainly study for career.
问题解答：
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