谁能帮我批改一下这篇雅思作文?

问题描述:

谁能帮我批改一下这篇雅思作文?
Solving environmental problems should be responsibility of one international organization instead of state or national governments.Do you agree or disagree?
Environmental problem has been a wide public concern over the world.Some believe the solution of it should be put onto the duty of an international organization rather than any single government.I am also one of the supporters of this proposal.
One global institution ensures a better coordination of the world resources in tackling the environmental problems.Under the operation of one organization,the resources wasted when every government is making its own effort can be greatly reduced,which maximizes the benefits of the resources.Also,under its coordination among countries,the strengths of each country can be consolidated while the weaknesses can be avoided,enhancing the work efficiency
A specific international organization,from a global perspective,can be more effective in solving the problems of the environment.In this way,there is no need to worry about some countries taking part in while others not,and some countries are positive in performance while others negative,so that the cross influence can be decreased,and then the environmental problems can be solved at the international level.Besides,doing so helps to prevent some countries from shirking their responsibilities or just making their own benefits,and thus leave the problems to be fully dealt with.
Admittedly,it is still necessary for every national government to bear their duties and obligations.After all,this international organization is formed under the support of various governments and in need of their continual support in operation.However,this duty and obligation is undertaken under the coordination of the organization,rather than done by them alone.
To sum up,I do agree with the idea that a representative institution of countries over the world should take over the duty to solve environmental problems.With a clear understanding of this and continual support from every country,the world will turn from good to better.
这篇作文是我在雅思救星上面看到的,觉得写的非常不错,就是不知道能得几分,大家觉得能拿几分?
1个回答 分类:综合 2014-09-28

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我觉得大概可以7.5吧~感觉雅思作文考官还有地域的因素也很大,每场考试的标准都有一点点不同,雅思救星是指这是一篇范文吗?那是不是都检查过语法错误了,如果没有语法错误我觉得这篇7.5是没问题吧~如果遇到好考官说不定能更高~
 
 
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