问题描述:
请高人帮忙修改一下英文个人陈述.虽费点时间但一定再追加分数!先谢!
着眼语法,用词,衔接方面,其他方面能指出更好!
The person,who influenced me most,was Mendeleev other than my parents.He categorized chemical elements from a mass of disorder.With tremendous courage and confidence he never feared the accusations and mocks from some famous chemists.His persistence and strong belief won my respect and admiration.Therefore,I chose Chemistry as my college major,and I dream to create a new world just like Mendeleev did.
With the development of chemistry,my interest in Chemistry has grown from simple attraction to serious involvement.Chemistry is everywhere in our daily live.What attracts me the most is that chemistry was not only about pure theory; it can be applied to real life every day.In order to achieve my goal,I have made diligent effort to prepare for my future research,from passable(?) work and simple reports initially to much mature design work that I have accomplished within my colleague years.I hope one day I can apply these theories to real practice to help people solve problems they have encountered,just like Mendeleev,who turned simple card games into scientific elemental cycle rate.
The first research project I participated in was the synthesis of a series of Fluoren-9-ones,which are usually used as organic light-emitting materials.After detailed investigation of references,I found that the modification of Fluorenone is mainly synthesized by the 9H-fluorene alkaline oxidation.However,the use of large excess quantities of both reagents and volume of solvent in most of these procedures,along with the difficult work-up of the environmentally hazardous chromium residues makes such procedures inconvenient on a commercial scale.In order to improve the existing methods,I focused on the optimization of the reaction conditions.However,various results are reported by different researchers with diverse bases and solvents.By selecting different bases,as well as changing their concentration,the best yield merely reaches about 80%.Intuitively; I realized that it may be possible to improve the efficiency of the reaction.Generally,oxidation reactions are exothermic,and high reaction temperature is not conducive to the completeness of exothermic reaction.However,using different solvents can control the reaction temperature,which provides a favorable reaction condition.Fortunately,this has been supported by references.After optimization,our yield is no less than 90% in the most case.With the optimized conditions,a series of compounds are obtained with good yields,which proves my idea is correct.Based on the result of our research,I won the first prize in the Extracurricular Scientific Works Contest of our university.And the program also entered the eleventh Challenger Cup in the provincial and the National Challenger Cup.Currently,I am testing the fluorescence behavior of these compounds in solution in order to find the influence of different substitutes.
As my project progresses,I realized that only hard work can lead to good results.Although I had to work until 11pm every night,my effort had finally paid off,making the reaction more efficient and environmentally more friendly.It is the significance of science,the charm of chemistry,a profound understanding of pleasure and pursuit of truth that puts my interest into the peak.In order to fulfill my dream,I have made up my mind to devote myself to chemistry research.
In sum,I am deeply attracted by the education system,research concepts,and lab environment of Xxx University.Your school offers the most advanced research accomplishments in chemical field.I believe I can rapidly adapt to the research environment at your school,thanks to my solid theoretical knowledge and research experience gained via hard work in my 3 years of college to date.Meanwhile I do hope to make meaningful contributions to the chemistry study and development in my academic career.
着眼语法,用词,衔接方面,其他方面能指出更好!
The person,who influenced me most,was Mendeleev other than my parents.He categorized chemical elements from a mass of disorder.With tremendous courage and confidence he never feared the accusations and mocks from some famous chemists.His persistence and strong belief won my respect and admiration.Therefore,I chose Chemistry as my college major,and I dream to create a new world just like Mendeleev did.
With the development of chemistry,my interest in Chemistry has grown from simple attraction to serious involvement.Chemistry is everywhere in our daily live.What attracts me the most is that chemistry was not only about pure theory; it can be applied to real life every day.In order to achieve my goal,I have made diligent effort to prepare for my future research,from passable(?) work and simple reports initially to much mature design work that I have accomplished within my colleague years.I hope one day I can apply these theories to real practice to help people solve problems they have encountered,just like Mendeleev,who turned simple card games into scientific elemental cycle rate.
The first research project I participated in was the synthesis of a series of Fluoren-9-ones,which are usually used as organic light-emitting materials.After detailed investigation of references,I found that the modification of Fluorenone is mainly synthesized by the 9H-fluorene alkaline oxidation.However,the use of large excess quantities of both reagents and volume of solvent in most of these procedures,along with the difficult work-up of the environmentally hazardous chromium residues makes such procedures inconvenient on a commercial scale.In order to improve the existing methods,I focused on the optimization of the reaction conditions.However,various results are reported by different researchers with diverse bases and solvents.By selecting different bases,as well as changing their concentration,the best yield merely reaches about 80%.Intuitively; I realized that it may be possible to improve the efficiency of the reaction.Generally,oxidation reactions are exothermic,and high reaction temperature is not conducive to the completeness of exothermic reaction.However,using different solvents can control the reaction temperature,which provides a favorable reaction condition.Fortunately,this has been supported by references.After optimization,our yield is no less than 90% in the most case.With the optimized conditions,a series of compounds are obtained with good yields,which proves my idea is correct.Based on the result of our research,I won the first prize in the Extracurricular Scientific Works Contest of our university.And the program also entered the eleventh Challenger Cup in the provincial and the National Challenger Cup.Currently,I am testing the fluorescence behavior of these compounds in solution in order to find the influence of different substitutes.
As my project progresses,I realized that only hard work can lead to good results.Although I had to work until 11pm every night,my effort had finally paid off,making the reaction more efficient and environmentally more friendly.It is the significance of science,the charm of chemistry,a profound understanding of pleasure and pursuit of truth that puts my interest into the peak.In order to fulfill my dream,I have made up my mind to devote myself to chemistry research.
In sum,I am deeply attracted by the education system,research concepts,and lab environment of Xxx University.Your school offers the most advanced research accomplishments in chemical field.I believe I can rapidly adapt to the research environment at your school,thanks to my solid theoretical knowledge and research experience gained via hard work in my 3 years of college to date.Meanwhile I do hope to make meaningful contributions to the chemistry study and development in my academic career.
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