求高手修改一下我刚写的一篇2009年6月的英语六级作文,

问题描述:

求高手修改一下我刚写的一篇2009年6月的英语六级作文,
09年6月的六级作文题是:
  1有人认为名字很重要
  2也有人认为无关紧要,
  3我认为
The Inprotance Of a name
In recent years,the topic of the inportance of a name has aroused pervasive attention.As we all know,some people even turn to perfassional consult for a good name.While with the passage of time,defferent voices rise over whether should name divide into good or bad?
Some people hold the opinion that a good name deserves everything.For them,a good name not only influence their emotion,but also may lead to some unexpected rewards.Such as weathey,social status and promotion prospects.
On the contrary,other people take the opposing view that a good name is nothing.For one thing,names have long been set as a symbol of a person.What’s more,it can help us communicatae with each other conveniently..For another,only with a good name can our not enlarge our konwledge and develop our character.
In my point of view,there shouldn’t be a distinction between good names or bad names.
I don’t think some names will replace others completely or some names will despair in the near future.
1个回答 分类:综合 2014-12-13

问题解答:

我来补答
The Importance Of a name
In recent years,the topic(debate) of the importance of a name has aroused pervasive attention.As we all know,some people even turn to a professional consultant for a good name.While with the flying of time,different voices have risen over whether names should be divided into good or bad?
Some people hold the opinion that a good name deserves everything.For them,a good name not only influences their emotion,but also may lead to some unexpected rewards,such as wealth,social status and promotion prospects.On the contrary,other people take the opposing view that a good name is nothing.For one thing,names have been set as a symbol of a person permanently.What's more,it can help us to communicate with each other conveniently..For another,only with a good name can not enlarge our knowledge or develop our character.
In my point of view,there shouldn't be a distinction between good names or bad names.I don't think some names will replace others completely or some names will disappear in the near future.Names are just different ways to indentify us.
我没有给你做太多修改,因为你的总体理论逻辑是不错的,但要注意个别句式,
像这种作文中,一般是分为三大段的,最好不要超过4段.还有,实际上,写这种文章,突出的还是个人的见解,所以,个人意见和前两者比起来不要显得太少,大体上句子的多少还是要对称的.
满分30分的话,给你26-28分左右吧
 
 
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