帮忙修改下英语作文- -

你的别字语病忒多了 楼上两位连第一句的cuntries 都没发现?仅以此文与你参考参考
In some countries,teenagers have jobs while they are still students.Do you think this is a good idea?
First of all,the most important thing teenagers,especially college student,is studying.Your job must steal much time to study from you,and it make your grade worse than ever before.A famous scientist have shown that student who have any jobs don't have enough time to do their homework and their grade is worse than student who don't have jobs.It is necessaty for college student whose family are poor to earn enough money for living.However,except for the case,student should study hard.
Some indeed argue that jobs teach us lots of sighnificant things we can never learn only to study in school or our home.It is instrumental in finding our real dream and broaden and deepen our value.I never deny it,but we can broaden our sense of value or find our dream to talk with our friends or teachers in school during class.In my case,I develop my sense of value much better to discuss the topic our teacher gave us with my classmate.It was very meaningful and stimulating for me.
In my opinion,the fact that in some countries the young people are allowed to work and study at the same time is really great.It provides a lot of benefits for the students.For them,it can be very helpful in their process of becoming more responsible.Having to divide time between work and study can improve the student’s ability of taking decisions and the way they take advantage of the time they have available.Such things maybe can be learned at the university,but in my opinion the best way to acquire that knowledge is the self-experience.