求助雅思作文批改Happiness is considered very important in life.Why i

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求助雅思作文批改
Happiness is considered very important in life.Why is it difficult to define?What factors are important in achieving happiness?
As we known,happiness is increasingly playing an essential role in such a competitive today.However it is really a hard assignment to give it a specific definition since happiness is certain feeling of abstraction which would bring individuals delight.This means the cause of family chores in daily life or even some ambiguous thinking.As far as I concerned,I tend to distinguish the reasons that raise happy feelings into two kinds,mental factors and physical factors.
We can find in certain circumstance that just a funny painting or a humorous movie can brighten your mood for a long time.At majority of time,it is no relevance about extravagant lifestyle,but only something about your inside stillness.Imaging your lovely girlfriend surprise you with the first cooking that have done by herself,there would be some beauty come across your heart,which we call it “happiness”.Certainly,it will last and not stop because of the bad taste of the dish.So the purely mental sensation can achieve you happiness.
On the other hand,all the yearning feelings are generated by absolute mental activities is too strict to the abstract notion.The refreshing of the exhausted body,the familiarity of a challenging motion can also give you so-called “happiness”.While,I prefer reduce these to the feelings that conduct fitness from your body to your inside.The physical satisfaction let you feel joyful through your mind,and then the grateful happiness forms.
Finally,I would say that happiness is the feeling we should cherish carefully,especially in the complicated world as current situation.In the other words,we could regard it as the peaceful shelter which helps people pursue better life but not lost themselves in the staggering pace of development.
1个回答 分类:综合 2014-10-24

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两个问题 Why is it difficult to define?What factors are important in achieving happiness?第一个问题,楼主回答了.但是第二个问题上,似乎有一点偏题I tend to distinguish the reasons that raise happy feelings into two kinds强调的是原因.
再者是行文不是很流畅.
开头的As we known,happiness is increasingly playing an essential role in such a competitive today.,实在是大大的套话.
而且我有点好奇,楼主是不是考过六级,感觉文章的布局太...六级.
本人愚见^^
 
 
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