托福作文求修改!teachers should not tell their students in the class

问题描述:

托福作文求修改!teachers should not tell their students in the classroom about their social or
Basically,I agree with the statement that teachers should not tell their students in the classroom about their social or political views for the following aspects:
First and formost,making teachers' social or political views known to the students will influence the judgements of the students adversely.For instance,if a teacher in the chinese class of a middle school tell his or her students that he or she is opposed to the subsidies of the government to the farmer,the students might take that point for granted because they always trust in what their teachers' say without any hesitation.As a result ,although the subsidies benefit most people ,they'll take it as an undesirable rules of gorvernment.
Second,although to some extent,the attitudes of the teachers to some social or political issues may be justified,they should't make them known to their students because students are not always expecting them.For a hard-working student from a underprevilidged family,what he wants to do in a maths class is to understand a method of solving a certain problem and he may consider it a waste of time to hear the political or social views of his teachers.
However ,in some classes like an optional class about the current events across the world,it's necessary for the teacher to talk about some aspects of their social or political views to attract the attention of the student.Maybe some students in the class never read or watch news in the daily life and he is not interested at the current events at all .But in the class,he may be attracted by the interesting or plausible views of the teacher and thus takes interests in the social or political events.
Afterall,a teacher should not talk about their social or political views in the class.
求大牛修改!
1个回答 分类:综合 2014-11-05

问题解答:

我来补答
1.第二段,“First and formost”中”formost"改为“foremost'
2." making teachers' social or political views known to the students will influence the judgements of the students adversely" "make sth done to sb"是错误的表达,改为"allowing teachers to convey their social or political views to students will."
3."For instance,if a teacher in the chinese class of a middle school tell his or her students that he or she is opposed to the subsidies of the government to the farmer,the students might take that point for granted because they always trust in what their teachers' say without any hesitation." "tell‘改为"tells" ; ”to the farmer"不能再跟在这句话后面,因为"oppose"这里你是做形容词用的,而不是动词 ; 你说学生总是对教授的话深信不疑,这是与美国的"critical thinking"相矛盾的,既然这是给professor看的文章,建议你修改下,至少也要去掉"always'
4."they'll take it as an undesirable rules of gorvernment.'托福写作不用缩写,这样会显得不正式; an undesirable rules 名词单复数前后矛盾
5.第三段的衔接词”Second'换成“In addition,What is more "等
6.”although to some extent'' "although"本身是连词,它所在句子要是完整.改成“to some extent'
7.第四段”in the daily life“不要定冠词
8.指示代词he应该是学生,改为students
9.be interested at改为be interested in
10.托福写作的结尾段要求 总结分论点+提出期盼.你少了总结.
 
 
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