Manners in every country are different. What is polite in China may not be polite in the United States. These basic rules will help you enjoy western food with your American friends.
Always put the napkin on your lap first. Before you leave the table, fold your napkin and put it beside your plate.
As the meal is served, use the silverware farthest from the plate first. When eating something in a bowl, do not leave the spoon in the bowl. Put it on the plate beneath the bowl. Soup, as well as all American food is eaten quietly. Do not slurp the soup. The soup spoon is used by moving the spoon away from you. Do not over fill the spoon. The bowl may be tipped slightly away from you to allow the last bit of soup to be collected on the spoon. Do not pick the bowl up to hold it closer to your mouth. When you have finished your meal, place your knife and fork side by side on the plate. This signals that you have finished eating.
Wait until everyone has been served to begin eating. Everyone begins to eat at the same time. The host or hostess may invite you to start eating before everyone is served. Some foods may be cold if you are required to wait until everyone is served. If invited to begin before others are served, wait until three or four people have been served before starting to eat.
While eating, remember not to talk with your mouth full of food.
During the meal, the host or hostess will offer you a second helping of food. Sometimes they will ask you to help yourself. When they offer you food, give a direct answer. If you refuse the first time, they might not ask you again.
At the table, ask others to pass you dishes that are out of your reach. Good phrases to know are: “Please pass the ____” or “Could you hand me the ____, please?” If asked to pass the salt to someone, you should pass both the salt and pepper which are placed on the table together. Hand the salt and pepper to the person seated next to you. Do not reach over the person next to you to pass anything to others.
Sit up straight at the table. Bring the food up to your mouth. Do not lean down to your plate.
Cut large pieces of meat, potatoes and vegetables into bite size pieces. Eat the pieces one at a time.
When eating spaghetti, wind the noodles up on your fork. You may use your spoon to assist in winding the noodle on your fork. The spaghetti on your fork should be eaten in one bite. It is very impolite to eat half your noodles and allow the other half to fall back on your plate.
Some foods may be eaten with your fingers. If you are not sure if it is proper to eat something by picking it up with your fingers watch what others do before doing so yourself. Examples of foods which can be eaten with your fingers include: bacon which has been cooked until it is very crisp; bread should be broken rather than cut with a knife; cookies; sandwiches; and small fruits and berries on the stem. Most fast foods are intended to be eaten with your fingers.
Do not lean on your arm or elbow while eating. You may rest your hand and wrist on the edge of the table.
In America, people do not use toothpicks at the table.
Some of the rules mentioned here may be somewhat relaxed in informal settings.
The best way to learn good manners is to watch others. Observe the way your western friends eat. This is the best way to avoid making mistakes when you are unsure of what to do.
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