看和改我的英语演讲稿的语法是否有错误!

A.B.Good morning everyone!Today we [would like to] tell you about our dream[s].
good morning后面不用停顿,直接就good morning everyone就可以了.would like to...:想,希望可以.这样说比较适合,另外因为是两个人,所以dream应该是dreams
A.I'm two minutes [older] than my sister ．So I'm [the] older sister.
B.And I am two minutes [younger] than my sister.So I am [the] younger sister.
AB.We are twins.We look the same.But [we are also different.]
这里我稍微改了一下,我想你的意思是说虽然我们长的一样,可是有的时候还是不一样的.可是我觉得更好的表达是“我们虽然长得一样,我们却是不一样的两个人”.
A.[When I was a young child] I want[ed] to be a shop assistant.
“小的时候”的英文翻译很中国英语.比较顺畅的还是“当我还是小孩子的时候”.另外还有一个错误（后面也有同样的错误）,就是want的过去式.因为那是你曾经的梦想,所以必须用过去式wanted.
B.Oh,Why?
A.Because [our mom told] me [that] the assistant can eat a lot of [food].So I [was] very happy,[and] I want[ed] to be a shop assistant.
这里你用的是mother,虽然没有错,可是你是和你的妹妹说话,用mother会太生疏.同样的因为是和妹妹在说话,my mother的my也被改成了our（我们的～）.还有就是is的过去式：was,want和wanted.
B.[I wanted] to [become] a scientist.
严格来说语法方面to be也是正确的,可是因为你是希望成为科学家,become会更适合.
A.Why?
B.Because scientists [can become] very famous.[They will then have] a lot of money.
can become是可以变成,可以成为～的意思.当然同样的,因为他们可以变成名人,也will,将会拥有很多钱.
AB.Then in the primary [school],we [also had] different dreams.
primary不是小学的意思.小学是primary school或elemenray school.要加上school哦～还有就是had是have的过去式,要注意你是说小学的事情,所以也是要用过去式哦.
A.I want[ed] to be a teacher .
B.Why?
A.Because teacher[s] can give students lots homework.What about you?
觉得用teachers比the teacher好很多,因为不光是一个老师可以啊,很多老师都可以给学生好多作业哦～第二点就是a lots,这个是错误的,要不是lots,没有a的,要不就是a lot.
B.I want[ed] to be a painter.
A.Why is that?
B.Because I love painting .I [wished to] have Ma Liang's Magic pen.I [thought that was exciting].
同样的,时态错误.
A.[But] now I want to be a writer.You know why?
At now是完全的中国英语.你想说现在,实际上直接Now开始就可以了,不用加前面的At的.不过我放了一个But在前面,因为这样会比较流畅.还有就是That is cool《自己说自己有点自大啊,哈哈～还是删了吧,
B.No,[why?]
A.Because I love reading [so much]!And [lots of people read your books if you're a writer].How about you?
这里按照原意改了.mach的意思和much完全不一样哦,要注意.
B.Um,I want to be [an] engineer.
a 和 an,元音前是an哦.
A.Why [engineer]?
不用啰嗦,直接问“为什么要当engineer?”
B.Because engineers [can design and] build house[s].
我剪短了不少.意思也表达的更清楚了.engineer们可以设计以及建造房子.
A.This is a good dream.
AB.[We always say to] ourselves "[nothing is impossible]" Everyone has dream[s].[Dreaming is the first step to achieving.]
we are是“我们是～”的意思,所以你觉得“我们是对自己说～”在中文里面通吗?所以我改成了we always～,意思是“我们总是～”.另外如果用“我们”对自己说的话的话,“I always～”比较不适合,所以干脆就避开,用一句很经典的“nothing is impossible”（没有不可能的）.最后的一句真的看了几边才明白意思,我想你是想表达只要赶梦想,总会达到（或者类似）的意思吧.Dreaming is the first step to achieving是说“去梦想是成功的第一步”
AB.That's all.Thank you [for listening].
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不好意思我比较啰嗦啊～不过不光要赶作业,我觉得如果意思明白的话,背起来会更轻松一点吧.Good luck!