四级作文修改俺练习了个四级作文,希望能帮着标注修改,错在什么地方,应该怎样(特别是语法~).When it comes

问题描述:

四级作文修改
俺练习了个四级作文,希望能帮着标注修改,错在什么地方,应该怎样(特别是语法~).
When it comes to whether the university campus shoud be open to tourists,there is no complete agreement among people.Some people take it for granted open the university to tourists.However,others would rather the university campus should be so quiet to study,It can't be open to tourists.
Those people who hold the first opinion think the university's environment has the advantage to the children.However,still others think differently,in their opinions,not open the university campus to tourists has the benefit to the student who study in the university,because the campus will becom more quietly.Besides,the argue if open the university campus to tourists,every one can come in and the secure of student is not safe.
weighing up these two argument.I prefer the former one.As to me,I am inclined to open the university campus to tourists.For one thing,a large number of people will learn more thing for the university student,for example,how hard they are study.For another,it will encourage other student who prepar to go to the university.Thaking above-mentioned factors into consideration,I suggest the university campus must be open to tourists.
像以下这样修改~(此文出于新东方老师在线修改,只是要求他们的题目。所以...)
Nowadays,as(把”as”改成介词”with”。as作“随着……”的时候是连词,应该接从句) the development of the economics(改成”economy”。”economics”是指经济学,说国家经济则应该用”economy”),many people have(这个have语法上没错,但是我倾向于用”start to own their private cars”。因为前面表达了“随着经济的发展”这么一个过程,主句的语义表述也应该展现一个过程) For example,it can save a lot of time (save这个动词的主语一般来说是人。所以可以改成it can help us to save… ) and it is also a symbol of status.
Every coin have(改成”has”,记住动词的用法要和主语相对应哦~)two sides.
.(嗯~用了倒装呢~很好!特殊句式在各种考试里面都是非常加分的!)
总结:文章思路还是很清晰的。正反两方面的意见都考虑到了。但是用词的准确性上还是有进步空间的。很多时候不是同学们不会写,是写不准,然后就丢分了。一定要小心!
1个回答 分类:综合 2014-10-04

问题解答:

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When it comes to whether the university campus shoud be open to tourists,there is no complete agreement among people.Some people take it for granted open the university to tourists.However,others would rather the university campus should be so quiet to study,It can't be open to tourists.
(When it comes to whether or not the university campus shoud be open to the tourists,there is no complete agreement among people since different people hold different ideas.Some people take it for granted to open the university to tourists(to不能省略,这里的介不定式短语to open the university to tourists由形式宾语it指代).However,others would rather keep the university campus quite for better educational environment.(这样子会不会更好呢?)
Those people who hold the first opinion think the university's environment has the advantage to the children.However,still others think differently,in their opinions,not open the university campus to tourists has the benefit to the student who study in the university,because the campus will becom more quietly.Besides,the argue if open the university campus to tourists,every one can come in and the secure of student is not safe.
(Those people who hold the first opinion think the university's environment will exert a positive influence on children.It's a good idea to take their children to the university.However,still others think differently.In their opinions,if the university is open to tourists,the university students will be severely affected,because the coming tourists will interfere the quite atmosphere of the university.Besides,they argue that if openning the university campus to tourists,the campus will be no longer safe.The security of the students will be threatened.)
weighing up these two argument.I prefer the former one.As to me,I am inclined to open the university campus to tourists.For one thing,a large number of people will learn more thing for the university student,for example,how hard they are study.For another,it will encourage other student who prepar to go to the university.Thaking above-mentioned factors into consideration,I suggest the university campus must be open to tourists.
(Weighing these two arguments.I prefer the former one.I am inclined to open the university campus to tourists.For one thing,a large number of people,old and young,will learn more thing for the university students.For example,how hard they study.For another thing,it will encourage other students who prepar to go to the university.Taking above-mentioned factors into consideration,I suggest the university campus should be open to the tourists.It's a good way to improve our national quality(国民素质)
 
 
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