雅思作文 求打分和修改

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雅思作文 求打分和修改
topic:
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents,for instance sport or music,and others are not.However,it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport or musician.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays even the smartest scientist finds it difficulty linking the success of some professional individuals,like sportsmen and musicians,exclusively to their innate ability or the nurturing during growth.In my opinion,both these factors are the prerequisites of success,although sometimes it seems easy for those gifted children to master some complicated techniques.
It is generally believed that every one of us is born with certain genius that would help fulfill his or her function in a society as lawyer,singer or some other occupations.The only matter is that not everyone indentifies innate ability at an early age.Unlike other talents such as ability of critical thinking or giving an eloquent speech,the advantages of sports and music can be distinguished at early phase due to the preference of pre-school education,which will easily differentiate children from their peers.And then with scientific and systematic training,these children can achieve amazing accomplishment in quite a short time.In addition,lots of researches conducted worldwide on this subject have proved the argument above.
Despite that,the example that gifted child fails to make a further progress is not rare.In china,there is a traditional story about this.At present,some old people still quote it as a precaution to educate their offspring that never underestimate the importance of diligent work.
However,throughout the world,there are a large number of stories depicting the transformation from an ordinary person to a great professional.And it is undoubted that nurturing is also important to succeed,because a good gene might discriminate you from the common crowds,but only hard working can help culminate your career,especially in contemporary society,full of severe competition.
Thus it is really difficult to tell which factor is most crucial to success.But I still firmly believed that we can make a hit if all of us adhere to our dreams and strive for it,even though we are not endowed certain talents.
1个回答 分类:综合 2014-09-26

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topic:
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays even the smartest scientist finds it difficulty/difficult linking the success of some professional individuals, like sportsmen and musicians, exclusively to their innate ability or the nurturing during growth. In my opinion, both these/both factors are the/delete it prerequisites of success, although sometimes it seems easy/easier for those gifted children to master/acquire some complicated techniques.
It is generally believed that every one of us is born with certain genius/gift that would help fulfill his or her function/position in a society as lawyer, singer or some other occupations/del s. The only matter is that not everyone indentifies/identifies innate ability at an early age. Unlike other talents such as ability of critical thinking or giving/delivering an eloquent speech, the advantages of sports and music can be distinguished/distinctive at early phase/stage due to the preference of pre-school education, which will easily differentiate /those gifted children from their peers. And then with scientific and systematic training, these children can/may/are most likely to achieve amazing accomplishment/s in quite/relatively a short time. In addition, lots of researches conducted worldwide on this subject have proved/been strongly supportive of the argument above/del it.
Despite that, the example that /a gifted child fails to make a/del it further progress is not rare. In china, there is a traditional story/folk tale about this. At present, some old people still quote it as a precaution( to educate their offspring that never underestimate the importance of diligent work.) abuse of precaution/ against absence of diligent work derived from overconfidence of one’s inborn talents.
However, throughout the world, there are a large number of stories depicting the transformation from an ordinary person to a great professional. And it is undoubted/an undoubted fact/undoubtedly这个词一般作表语 that nurturing/nurture is also important to succeed/one’s success这里to是介词, because a good gene might discriminate/separate you from the/del it common crowds, but only hard working/del ing can help culminate/这个词用错accelerate the advancement of your career,还可以这么写 but your career will only culminate with incessant hard work, especially in contemporary society, full of severe competition.
Thus it is really difficult to tell which factor is most/more crucial to success. But I still firmly believed/del d that we can make a hit/不当,这个词是一下子取得巨大成功的意思,而且一般不用于书面语 /we are entitled to great achievement in life if all of us adhere to our dreams and strive for it/them, even though we are not endowed /with certain talents.
估计分数在5-6之间,如果注意用词准确,冠词介词用法不出错,很有可能高于6分.建议用词多查字典,习得其准确常用用法,再用于自己的文章,否则用错大词反失分.
 
 
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