还有10天就考托福了作文很垃圾 自己写了一篇托福作文 请大家帮我评一下分数 谢谢啦

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还有10天就考托福了作文很垃圾 自己写了一篇托福作文 请大家帮我评一下分数 谢谢啦
Nowadays , a heated discussion springs up as to whether higher education be available to all students or only to good students . Some people believe that a college or university education should be available to all students . While others believes it should be available only to good students . If I were forced to agree with one of the two selections . I strongly deem that the former one holds more weight . There are numerous reasons to support my opinion and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here.
One of the primary causes is that all the people have the equal right to receive higher education . In China , an old sayings goes “ all the people ,no matter what race you are from , have the equal right. And I think it includes the right to receive higher education for everyone . A good case in point is that in South Korea , the government advocated that all the korean have the right to receive education . Although some rich people may reject this creed , nearly all the pople in Korea support this decision made by government . Thus we can see that most people agree with my first point .
Another reason to support my opinion is that a nation’s quality would be promoted if all the people receive higher education . In other words , knowledge , ability and so on will not be promoted if only good students receive higher education. We can assume that if only a few people have the right to receive education , and then it is reasonable to expect that the nation would not to be a strong country ,because most people have no knowledge or skill to support their nation.
While it is true that there may be a couple of advantages for only a few people to receive high education . However from what has been discussed above , all the evidence supports an unshakable that higher education should open to all the people .Thus it is recommended that government should increase the expense of education to support this point . While it is up to them to make the final decision which is in accordance with their value and situation .
1个回答 分类:综合 2014-11-06

问题解答:

我来补答
作文结构不错 但有句子要改正一下的:
1.While others believe it should be only available to good students .
2.all the evidence supports an unshakable (少了一个名词,可以用view/opinion等)that higher education should open to all the people.
3.最后一句不用从句更妥当:It is up to them to make the final decision in accordance with their value and situation .
 
 
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