麻烦改一下雅思小作文如果可以给个分数最好了.我不怕打击. Shown above is a line grap

麻烦改一下雅思小作文
如果可以给个分数最好了.我不怕打击.

 Shown above is a line graph concerning the
quantities of goods transported in the up between 1994 and 2002 by four
different modes of transport .All trends can be categorized into 2 stages with
rising in Goods transported such as road water,pipeline flucturting in rail..
 Road was active while pipeline was mirose We cold witness that from 70
Million tonnes in 1974,road brought an upward trend during the 28 years,with
the line of 100 million tonnes reach in 2002.Water stood at 40 Million tonnes ,which was watched
by rail between 1974 and 1978 .However ,in 1978,there was a soar to
approximately 70 Million tonnes in water as apposed to that rail ,bottoming out
at 30 million tonnes and then reaching a peak at 40 million tonnes which seemed
that a minority among them ,a surge was recorded in it ,from 5 Million tonnes
to about 20     Million tonnes.
 From what has been discussed above ,it illustrates that most Goods
transported in UK won‘t into road ,followed by
water and hail ,while pipeline accutied the smallest proportion among them
between 1974 and 2002.
打字是我男朋友打的 可能有挺多小错误的 请见谅