高手帮我批改一下作文（六级的）

问题描述：

高手帮我批改一下作文（六级的）
a letter to a laid-off acquaintance
正文如下：
Dear Wing,
First and foremost,I must say that I'm so sorry to hear that you have been laid-off.I think you must be in no moo to do anything now.However,as I see it from my stand point,the situation is not too bad to deal with.You should remember an old saying:Where is a will,where is a way.you undoubtedly go through this tough time if you keep this faith.
Now all I can do is to give your some suggestions and hope that it will be useful for you.At the first place,I have to say it again that you must cheer up and be sonfident.At the second place,you have to find out the reason why you have been fired and correct it.For example,if your boss fired you due to your laziness,you must work harder and devote yourself to your job from now on.Finally,you can search a job on the Internet which fits you.Besides,there are also much imformation and advice about how to successed in your career.
Sincerely,I hope you can have a better job sas soon as possible.whenever you need my hand,I'll do anything I can to support you.Call me anytime you need.
Best wishes your best friend
没错的不要复制粘贴,只要改有错的,免得看得眼花~.

1个回答分类：综合 2014-09-24

问题解答：

我来补答

1.作为副词引导句子,应该用firstly,而不是用first.第一句应该是firstly and foremostly.
2.must 用在第一句不妥.应该用have to.
3.think的用法错误.要否定提前.i don't think that you have mood to do anything.
4.from my stand point 有错,应该改为in my opinion 或者in my point即可.
5.where is a will...改为where there is a will,there is a way.
6.下一句应该改为you should and you could get out from the tough（go through也可以）
7.第二段第一句,主语从句缺少主语,应该改为what i can do now.主句也有问题.全句应该改为：what i can do now is to give you some suggestions and i hope it would help you.
8.第二段第二句,没有at the first place 的说法,应该是firstly 或者at first.
9.say 后面为宾语从句,不能用it引导.应该用that.应该改为I have to say that again that you should cheer up and be confident.其实这里显得非常累赘.直接用i think you should cheer up and be confident即可.
10.at the second place 改为secondly.(与前面对应）
11.建议别人不能用must,应该用should.
13.correct the reason不搭配.直接用make some changes即可.
14.imformation是不可数名词,应该用is搭配.如果连上后面的advice应该改为：there is also much imformation and advices on/about how to succeed in your career.这里应该用就近原则.be动词跟前面的information不跟后面的advices.
15.i will do anything i can不妥,应该用i will do everything i can.而且whenever you need my hand太罗唆,直接用anytime在后面即可.即为：i will do everything i can to support you,any time.
16.最后一句,best wishes to you,from your best friend.再加姓名.
总的来说,这篇文章完全是中文思维写好后翻译过去的,不是从英文的角度去思考的.所以,很多中式英语.语句不通顺.希望能改进.

展开全文阅读