请英语老师或六级大神帮我看看这篇作文

请英语老师或六级大神帮我看看这篇作文
这是2012年6月的六级作文,就是一片看图作文,一个父亲问女儿今天在学校过的如何,女儿说你可以在我的博客上看到.请你帮我评评分（15分制,六级老规矩）并说说哪有问题,有什么地方可以改进,
The Impact of the Internet Communction
In this picture,we can see a father asked his daughter about her school day and his daughter said to her dad that he can read the information on her blog.From the picture,we can know that the internet has became a inseparable part of our life.It has wide impact acoss the world.However,some people are worry that the interpersonal communication will disapper because of the Internet.
It is right to worry about this.Nowadays,we spend more and more time on the Internet.It let us have less time to commucation with other.What's worse,it will wide the gap between people.Also,some people think they can slove problems and make faithful friends on Internet.
In the way of my thinking,the Internet is just a tool for us .when a friend or family ask how you going
You should communication with him.It can make him more easy to understand your feeling and give you suggestion