When we speak of Chinese marriage,we means the Chinses traditional marriage.The process of the marriage is very complex and it varies from place to place.But it has a similar pattern.
Today although customs have been simplified and westernized,there are some that are still observed.
It was very important to follow a basic principle of the "Three Letters and Six Etiquettes",for they were essential to a marriage.
---the "Three Letters" includes the Betrothal Letter,which is the formal document of the engagement and a must in a marriage;the Gift Letter,which would be given to the identified girl's family,in this letter,a list of the types and quanlity of gifts prepared for the wedding,once both parties accept the marriage;the Wedding Letter is prepared and presented to the bride's family on the day of the wedding and is a document that confirmed and commemorated the formal acceptance of the bride into the bridroom's family.
---Six Etiquettes:
1 Proposing:If an unmarried boy's parents identify a girl as their future daught-in-law,they would find a matchmaker.Proposing is the specialty of the matchmaker.The matchmaker would formally present the client's request to the identified girl's parents.
2 Birthday matching:If the potential bride's parents do not object to the marriage,the matchmaker would ask for the girl's birthday and birth-hour to assure the campatibility of the potential bride and bridegroom.If the couples birthdays and birth-hours do not conflict according to astrology,the marriage would continue onto the next stage.If there is an sign of astological conflict,which means the marriage would bring disasters on both families,the proposed marriage is immediately quashed.
3 Presenting betrothal gifts:Once both birthdays match,the bridegroom's family would arrange for the matchmaker to present betrothal gifts,including the betrothal letter,to the bride's family.
4 Presenting wedding gifts:After the betrothal letter and betrothal gifts are accepted,the bridegroom's family would later formally sending wedding gifts to the bride's family.Usually,gifts may include tea,lotus seeds,longan,red beans,green beans,red dates,nutmeg,oranges,pomegranate,lily,bridal cakes,wine,coconuts,money box and other delicacies,depending on local customs and family wealth.
5 Picking a wedding date:An astrologist or astrology book would be conculted to select an auspicious date to hold the wedding ceremony.
6 Wedding ceremony:On the selected day,the bridegroom would depart with a troop of escorts and musicians,playing cheerful music all the way to the bride's home.After the bride is escorted to the bridegroom's home,the wedding ceremony begins.The details of the ceremony is just like the TV programs' showing.
