that在定语从句中一定要充当成分吗,I don't like the way that you speak to he

这个是定语从句.一般来说,that在从句中是要充当成分的,但你这个句子是定语从句中的特例.

当先行词是way意为“方式,方法”时,引导定语从句的关系词有下列三种形式.

The way 【that/in which/不填】 he explained the sentence to us was not difficult to understand.
他向我们解释句子的那种方法不难理解.

说白了即that相当于关系副词.这种情况仅限于先行词是way的情况.