我写了一篇英语作文,若18分评分的话,可以得几分?还有,帮我修改一下全文好吗?非常感谢你!

问题描述：

我写了一篇英语作文,若18分评分的话,可以得几分?还有,帮我修改一下全文好吗?非常感谢你!
Thank you,my Mum
I want to thank to my Mum. Because she is one of my dearest relatives, but she gives me a lot. In my daily life, she always looks after me and teaches me some useful skills. In my spare time, she often tell me some interesting stories. So I want to say to her, ‘Although I have nothing wonderful sentences to send to you, I will use my own action as in return.’ Thank you, my Mum.

1个回答分类：英语 2014-11-22

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Thank you,my Mum
I want to thank to my Mum.Because she is one of my dearest relatives,(改下）but she gives me a lot.(这里..."BUT SHE GIVES ME A LOT" gives u a lot what?u have to be more specific.
In my daily life,she always looks after me and teaches me some useful skills.In my spare time,she often tells me some interesting stories.
So I want to say to her,(so i want to say to her 太罗嗦了,直接用 SO I WANT TO TELL HER THAT ‘Although I have nothing wonderful sentences to send to you,I will use my own action as in return.’ Thank you,my Mum.
恩恩.
给你再排一下版
Thank you,Mommy
I want to thank my mom of how____________ (自己想ADJECTIVE).She is the one that I am really close to.(我用了I AM,因为在正规英语作文里,I'M,SHE'S,IT'S,WEREN'T,DON'T,DOESN'T,这些词是不允许出现的.) In my daily life,she always looks after me and teaches me helpful skills (HELPFUL是有帮助的,USEFUL是有用的.两者皆可).In my sparetime,she always tells me interesting stories.So i want to tell her that "although I do not have any wonderful sentences to tell you,I will use my own action as in return."
Thank you,Mom,and I love you forever and ever (既然是给妈妈的就写的再煽情点~）
恩恩、我也是好奇来的~你多大啊?

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