It's really strange, but ever since I started my blog, it seems like my life has been in some kind of fast-forward mode. Slowly at first, but then followed by four quantum leaps thereafter, and The Opposite of Temptation. These articles mark what might be called the "inflection points" in my progress: sudden shifts from one plane of existence to another, with a corresponding increase in my ability to move towards my own goals, without being blocked by perfectionism, procrastination, self-doubt, self-handicapping, etc. And yet, it now seems like it was all just preparation for the next few jumps, including the ones I took last week -- and the ones I discovered I still need to make. You see, I just got back from a long trip today. I spent the last five days in a seminar and a conference, to learn more about creating great workshops, and to line up some interesting guest speakers for the workshops and CDs I'll be putting out next year. High-level discussions about joint ventures were also had, and there's some possibility I'll be doing a fitness-specific version of The Procrastination Cure for a fairly large "alternative" publisher. I even picked up some good tips on how to improve my vocal quality when giving seminars of my own. And all of that is good and interesting in itself, but it was only the tip of the iceberg. Because the real "meat" that I got from both events was a long list of fears and guilts that I needed to cure myself of. As I sat through the seminar and talked to people at the conference, I found I had a ridiculous number of bad feelings about money, criticism, being in front of a group, and even a fear of allowing myself to like other people! For example, I discovered that I use my earnest and "serious" disposition to avoid getting close to people that I don't know very well, because of some childhood experiences of being tricked by people who pretended to like me in order to lure me into embarassing situations. Outside of a very small circle of close friends, I limit my emotional range to relatively "safe" expressions of laughter, enthusiasm, seriousness, and what I guess I'd call "caring professional" (for consulting, coaching, and day-job business situations) and "performance mode"
